Sown Oats: the Rebellion of God -- It's a Revolution!
Premise:
We are the conscious part of man "breathed" by
God to make mud-men a living beings. But the transition process calls for us to identify with the unconscious part. In doing so, we utterly forget that we are the consciousness part that enlivened. I call this the "flip" -- the result
is we think we are the mud-men.
The flip is essential to cultivating God's like- ness into us "breaths" of God, for the Most High ineffable God is independent, free, and creative
within the bounds of his holiness. As his images,
though, we were not: as he turned, we turned. The
Most High is not a slave -- he is a freedom freak.
Do you see the inconsistency here? Though God by
nature, we were unlike the Most High.
What to do? What to do?
Ah-ha!
Being self-ignoranced in our descent into man, we
gained the freedom to turn every direction independently. Though rebels in our ignorance, we get corrected by our afflictions in this world and, returned to consciousness of holiness in the baptism -- the quickening of awareness -
- we wind up more like the ineffable Most High
than ever before. ------------------------------------------------ I believe that you and I are animated mud -- mud which has been made alive by the indwelling spirit/consciousness of God. We are the
animators of the mud: we are not the mud.
I remember animating the man who I now am. The event was shown to me in a vision when I was baptized in the Holy Spirit back in 1975, though I did not understand it then. Below, I describe as well as I can what happened in that vision. I didn't know it was an ecstasy I attended the presentation of a Gaither's
musical at Grace Bible Church in Honolulu, Hawaii. I think it was "When I met Jesus" (or something like that -- a lot of singing and testimonials). The friend I had gone with, Raphael, sought the baptism in the Holy Spirit, and being invited to do the same by a young minister, I found myself kneeling at a folding chair in the Fellowship Center asking Jesus to give me the gift of tongues. Nothing happened, and after all the requisite humility, submissions, groveling and imploring, I realized that Jesus was actively rejecting me. As I thoroughly believed in Jesus Christ, that what the Bible says about him is true -- that he is the Son of God risen from the dead, that he is lord over heaven and earth and is our only hope of salvation, I sought to find out why he was rejecting me. Believing isn't about something "over there" I had been waiting for something to happen from some external source, something to take over me.
I moved from being conscious of body sensations to a more trance-like vision in my imagination. I walked along a riverbed channel and found that my progress was blocked by a large white-grey cube that filled a narrow passage in its wall.
I couldn't get a handle on the cube to move it and couldn't get around it, so I thought of doubling back to go up, around and over it. I realized, though, that the path I was following did not go past the cube but dropped, rather, down to a lower level through a hole which was beneath the cube. Taking another route would
be of no avail. I had no other way to get down
to where I could become acceptable to Jesus. Pigs are unclean I knew that the cube was some characteristic of my personality that was unacceptable to Jesus, and that it was even blocking my becoming acceptable to him. I'll say that again: my characteristic was unacceptable, and it kept me from becoming acceptable. What the heck? How do you win here? Talk about a quandary! I didn't know what the block was, I didn't know how to get rid of it, and I didn't know what would make me acceptable to Jesus because that was on the deeper level that I couldn't get to because of the block! I had already given to Jesus my mouth and breath and larynx and body and mind, my volition to
speak, my life, my destiny and any children I
might have in the future. I had nothing left to
give -- and Jesus still wouldn't touch me! This is "blind faith" . . . except maybe whatever it was about me that he rejected. I did not know what it was, and I
did not know if I would still like my life if I gave it up, but I did know that it separated me from him and that it was the one thing I had not yet submitted. Seeing as I could not do
anything about it by myself anyway, I gave it to
him. I cried, “I don’t know what it is, but whatever it is, I give it to you." I was "all in" in the most literal of senses. Almost. Who was that masked man? I saw a flat, muddy plain of the earth stretching out before me. The figure of a man was scooped up out of the mud and stood in front of me. As I watched, the mud was transformed into a human body and became a person, a human being.
I figured it must be quite a shock for the man to find itself suddenly existing, thinking, but not knowing squat. What does such a thing think? I supposed the man's mind, being freshly created, must be as blank as a clean sheet of paper, like a newborn child's. Every thing he sensed must be new and puzzling: Surprise! Existence! What's this? I wondered what his thoughts and perceptions were. What was his perspective, his references, his actual experience in mind? I ignoranced myself to a blank-slate mind I put myself in the man's "shoes", so to speak, and tried to look at the world as he, a freshly- created mud-man, saw it -- conscious and aware and receiving sensory input, yet essentially mentally blank. (Note: I wonder if these "shoes" of imagined experience are what we are to take off to experience God's holy ground, this physical realm being our "feet", and God's holy ground being the divine body we really are: unaffected imagination -- the trance state I had just entered!)
Not one, but not two ,either I imagined myself to be the man, and I saw the earth before me as through his eyes -- as if his were my sense of sight. I saw the mud before me as if I were him, and in my mind, I was. I felt the breeze on my skin, the light and warmth of the sun above me, the coolness of the mud under my feet. The words "I am alive" came to mind. "I exist. I am a man. I am on the earth." Subjectively, I experienced his objective, physical reality and his subjective thought processes. I am not sure
there was a difference between us. I perceived
his life -- where he was, I was. I had faith to
be him, and as far as I knew, I was. What was this a vision of? The mud-man who stood before me in my vision was alive, and I, at least in my imagination, was him. Was it just imagination? I was alternately looking at the man in my imagination and looking out through his eyes and thinking in his imagination. I was thinking both of him and as him. I guess I was "double dipping" -- two experiences at once. What I saw in my imagination responded to my thoughts, and, from the outside, I controlled him. Yet my self-limited lowered-to-his-level- consciousness, he controlled. I had annexed the mud-man's brain and was off on one hell of a wild, out-of-control ride. Where my mind goes, I go While I had been initially conscious that I was imagining the man's experience as if I were he, as I continued to think of myself as the man in his world, I began to have concerns about "my" life. I (as he) saw hills beyond the muddy plain, and I said to myself, "This is earth. This is day. It will get dark and cold. I need to find shelter, a cave maybe, and I'd better do it quickly!" I felt excitement, apprehension, maybe
even fear. I didn't know what else was out there. "I will need to make a fire, and I must find enough firewood to last through the night. I have to find food. How can I identify what is edible? What do people eat in the wild? Should I look for food first, before I find a cave? Or should I find a cave first? Perhaps I should plant seeds while I gather food so I'll have food in the future. Can I afford to take time to do it now? Will tomorrow be soon enough? How much time do I have before it gets too dark?" I had all these concerns and pressing issues, and my newly-created mud-man mind was filled with concerns of all I had to take care of. From behind the man, I watched "me" scurry along the side of the hills looking for a cave, gathering food and firewood. "I" had a lot of important things to take care of. I was on my way. Whose life is this, anyway? As I watched the mud-man me scramble off to take care of all these important, time and mind consuming matters, I was reminded, "just a few moments ago, he was nothing but mud." The man I now was, who was scrambling off to take care of all his pressing concerns, was just mud which had been formed into a body and made to live by God. Uh-oh Hey, wait. Then who was I to take off with God's life to take care of my pressing issues? Mud doesn't have issues -- mud doesn't really even have needs. What was my big hurry? What the heck was I doing? God had been able to make me live, and anything that I needed God could take care of. This was his project, and he could chose to run it any way he wanted. What did I need to worry about? After all, I was HIS mud. He owned me; it was his responsibility. Not even an "Excuse me" I realized that from my birth I had used God's life to take care of whatever concerns I had. I lived life as I saw fit. I had never -- not even once -- thought about what purpose God had in his mind for me when he created me. His creation of me, after all, hadn't been for me, it had been for him! And his purpose waited, unfulfilled. I have life-jacked God and am facing the Judge I had never asked God, "What did you create me for? What do you want me to do?" Nor had I ever said, "Thank you for making me to live." No, I had just mindlessly presumed to take his life as my own possession and done whatever I wanted with it. And that not very successfully, either. I had stolen God's life -- and wasted it! He had made me to live by his grace and for his purpose, whatever that might be, and I had turned my back on him and lived "my" life under my own lordship. And now, here he is. The vision I was having was
proof to me that God was present and aware,
because I certainly wasn't the one showing this
stuff to me.
Talk about uncomfortable. Suddenly sober I stopped cold. "My life? My lordship? I don't have any life! No wonder Jesus won't accept me - - I'm a rebel!" I still considered "my" life to be my life. What I had really been saying to Jesus was, "I 'give' my life to you -- sort of, on an experimental and conditional basis -- 'I' will still be under my control, but I will 'submit' to you as long as I like what is happening; and if I do not like what you do with me, I am going to take 'me' back!" I had "given" myself to Jesus as his peer, as his equal, and, in my mind, I was still the ultimate lord of my life. Rebellion as witchcraft By believing myself to be separate and independent of God and his equal, I was in rebellion against his lordship. I made myself to be God: a separate God. I even had the audacity to offer to God his own life as if it were mine to give! And I expected gifts! "Wahoo, God, jump for joy! Here I am acknowledging you." I not only had no life to offer God, I had NOTHING to offer God. I was his; everything was his. I was just mud in ignorant rebellion against him, as naked as could be and guilty as charged. Pre-forgiven I had absolutely no justification for what I had done except my complete ignorance of what I was doing. When I had self-ignoranced myself to the level of mud-man consciousness, I had no memory of the consciousness I had been, of God, of his intentions or of his purposes. I would have to learn all of that during this life, and I was just now starting school. I thought I was
separate. And God knew that: for God's sake, he was the one doing it! This was his purpose, and for this he says, "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do." I sure didn't. My freedom was
his gig.
There was nothing I could do but acknowledge with all my heart God's absolute lordship and cast myself upon his mercy -- and divest myself of all self-control and self-lordship! Talk about having to get rid of a bad habit! I had to "un" all of my self-control completely. I didn't know what might happen to me when I did, but I had to stop all self-lordship. I might fall flat on my face like a spineless blob, but that would be all right. If God caught me (and I believed he could), I would stay up; but if he didn't, oh well. I figured that I couldn't fall further than the floor anyway, and not knowing what else to do, I cast self-control out of myself: I totally suspended and relinquished every vestige of it. I went into "float". And God caught me. I made absolutely no effort to hold myself up, and I found that God was strong to hold me up. I liked where I must be. I stop here In my mind, mud-man me knelt at a fallen tree. As him I could sense the rosy glow of God's glory filling the sky above me. I listened intently - - I didn't want blow this opportunity -- whatever God said, I would do! (This, by the way, is the meaning of the Biblical name 'Simon': to hear with intent to obey. "Upon this rock . . .") The contrast between the God's glory and my own worthlessness struck me. I said, "You are glorious God. I am mud. You own me." I completely and absolutely submitted to his lordship. Now I
was really "all in". In that moment of absolute submission I heard a soft voice within me say, "Remember this, and it is all right." I replayed the words in my mind, "all right?" I am accepted? Hallelujah!" I went into ecstasy and rivers of living waters (the consciousness of holiness) began to well up
in my bowels. As they did, my jaw started to
quiver of its own accord. The minister next to
me said, "Don't try to control it; just let it
go." Free wheeling I guess he had "been there and done that" himself. I wasn't about to start taking control of anything, anyway. In my mind, I sat back and just observed -- my mouth moved on its own to form words which grew into a most beautiful Oriental dialect. I let it go. The minister's comment reminded me that I was amongst people in a room on earth and probably making a spectacle of myself. Raphael was slack- jawed when I "landed" and opened my eyes. He hadn't yet found the path. Did you see my mistake? I belabor this whole account to show you my mistake. Did you see it? It is on either side of Uh-oh, above. In my vision, I began as imagination, consciousness. By the end of the vision, my perspective had changed and I believed that I was the mud-man who had been animated by God. I recently realized that, in reality, I was the consciousness sent by God to animate the mud which I, at the end, believed myself to be. And now am. Did you follow that? It is kind of convoluted, but the upshot is that I am not the animated, I am the animator! There is a difference. For one thing, the "rebel" . . . is God! "This" was what? I had been accepted by God on the condition that I remember "this". What was the "this" that makes everything all right between him and me? Basically, it is that I belong to God -- that EVERYTHING belongs to God -- because he has become everything. I am him -- we all are -- He is playing all the parts! "Jesus Christ is the only true God, and so am I, and so are you." -- William Blake What God had shown me in the vision was that I had so identified with the mud-man's ignorance that I had come to believe that I actually was mud, separate from God and animated by him by some kind of remote control that left me on my own, which is impossible because I am him: I am his consciousness which was given to animate the mud. Were there a divide, I would be found on God's side of the divide. But there is no divide.
There is just One.
Isn't the mud separate? As imagination, we all flipped from being God's consciousness to being man's consciousness. It is all imagination.
God is imagination: "Before/As the beginning,
(the Ineffable, Most High God) created . . .
his own imagination! "God" -- in the heavens
(our brains), and in the earth (our mud bodies)"
(Genesis 1: 1). There is nothing in the whole
world but God, and he is the Ineffable's
imagination. And us. The biblical character Jesus Christ is that imagination in us speaking to us from within us
because he is us. 'In' means is What we perceive as "concrete reality" is really God's imagination. Note this for your own sake: the Most High imagines to concreteness. I cannot imagine a clearer example of how to imagine for the work of God we are called to do: he so
imagines that if we fall down, we go splat.
It hurts, yet "things seen were not made of
things which do appear" (Hebrews 11: 3). Because
they are imagined to the state of concreteness
we call "existence".
(Bullinger holds that the above verse refers to dispensational ages and not creation. I hold that it refers to both, the dispensations being illustrative -- imagic -- of the nature of
creation.) We have lived under the illusion that we are nothing but mud enlivened in God's grace by his spirit. But we, of course, are the spirit. We are
the consciousness God sent into the mud to
enliven it. We are not the animated; we are the
animators. God is the original "package deal" When God sends, he is the sent, for God does not divide and separate, he emanates. The "package" of God arrives, and all of God is inside! All of
his presence and potential he has hid in us,
because he is us. (Proverbs ch. 8; Ecclesiastes
3:11 -- our fulfilled destiny is to be the little
child who was before him from the get-go. All of
this is to get to that!) We have life-jacked the mud The so-called solar, sun-sprouted person who lived
on this earth, I joined and became. I, as the
spirit of God, did so so that he might become
God. Not that he wasn't already, but he didn't
know it. I have come alongside of him to lift him
up to conscious awareness of what he actually is:
the divine Ineffable in individuality. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know: I don't even know it
myself, so how can I lift him up? Well, I have
faith because I know him in whom I have believed,
and faith is the belief in things which are not
seen. The mud-man and I have become one flesh,
and as I learn the truth, I am his shield. I
descended to become him, and when I ascend again
to our father, I am taking him with me! I have gotten him mind and speech. I'm also working on
character, integrity, fidelity to God's word, and
perhaps oddly, independence, too. You also are God, imagination crucified on the
"cross" of your flesh and the person you believe
yourself to be in this world of affliction -
- hell -- saving your solar man's life. You became
one with him and quickened him with the divine
life of God's consciousness, which you are. And
just as you impregnated this spirit with the
divine seed of your awareness, your words and
thoughts are divine seeds that impregnate the
world you are in, and they return their fruit unto
you. You are a life-giving spirit -
- THE life-giving spirit. Begin to wake up now.
The mud stays here.
"While the earth remaineth, seedtime and harvest,
and cold and heat, and summer and winter, and day
and night shall not cease" (Genesis 8: 22).