Was I God? (Whose Adventure Is This?)

A little over fifty years ago I asked Jesus for the gift of tongues, and he utterly rejected me. He wouldn't touch me with a ten-foot pole, and I knew it. I was crushed, but sought to find out why--for what was I rejected--so that maybe I could get rid of it and become accepted.

Deep Inside

In my imagination (I had become entranced) I followed a trail on a river bed to a huge gray block. And I do mean block--I couldn't get past it, around it, or over it. Then I realized that I didn't need to get past it, for the trail I was following went down beneath it. The block blocked me. Jesus did not accept me, because I had not given to him whatever this block represented when I had given myself to him. I had held whatever this was in reserve. I hadn't actually surrendered myself to Jesus, not completely. I was a thief. An outcast thief.

The funny thing was I did not know what it was that I hadn't surrendered. I didn't know its name. How could I give it to Jesus if I couldn't name it, if I didn't even know what it was? Maybe it was something I would not want to give up. Perhaps it was a cost too great, something to do that was too onerous. But I resolved to give it anyway. I said, "Lord, I do not know what it is, but whatever it is, I give it to you."

I was beneath the block. I was in a darkened room like a command center. The question here is in the title of this post: Who was "I"? Was I dumb Danny, or was I God? I looked out a window or an opening in the wall. A plain of wet soil stretched out before me and unto the distant horizon. An invisible force scooped out the figure of a man from the soil, and the man was before me. The matter of his body, mud, became bone, muscle and sinew. Organs formed, and the systems of the body filled it. Skin cover it, and hair on the skin. The man became complete, except, I noticed, it had no life.

Life animated the man. He breathed. He opened his eyes, stood, and looked out at the plain. I wondered what he might think, seeing as he wasn't even alive a moment ago. Everything must be wonderous and new, and he had no language. "This is earth," I heard him think. "The sun will set, and it will get cold. I had better find shelter in those hills over there."

Watch This Transition

The mud man started walking toward the hills in the distance and the trees upon them. I was still wondering what he was thinking of what he saw, and from just behind him and to his left I followed, looking at what he looked at and listening to his mental banter. Without really noticing it, "I" slipped into being him--I was looking through his eyes, hearing his thoughts, and talking to myself as him. We had fused. I said, "I" had better make a fort of branches before it gets dark and animals come out, or maybe "I" can find a cave that doesn't have a wild animal already in it. (There was an iffy proposition: how would "I" be safe?) "I" will need firewood. Can "I" start a fire? Should "I" look for food, or plant seeds for tomorrow?

Suddenly, it hit me. I was in terror--abject horror. For I saw my sin, the thing I had held in reserve when I had "given" myself to the Lord: my self-lordship. "I" controlled and directed my life. "I" did whatever "I" thought "I" wanted to, whatever was good to me. God had given me life for his purposes, and I had stolen it. I lived for MY purposes, not his. I had never asked him what he had made me to live for; I had never even thanked him for making me to live at all.

No wonder God utterly rejected me; I was a rebel, an ungrateful and rebellious thief. Just moments ago he had made me, a mud man, by his grace to live--he OWNED me, and I in turn had given him no honor and no use of me.

Of whom? I recognized that "I" was the ignorant mud man, but it was "I", a separate being, who was thinking. I think. The mud man and "I" were melded into one. "I" had become him, but previously I had been . . . ?

The Milta (Miltha)--Miltha, Miltha, Miltha, Miltha: Neville Goddard And The God We Do Not Know

In 1951 Neville Goddard preached the sermon (yes, a sermon) "Call Upon Self". He began:

"In the 10th chapter of the book of Romans, Paul asked this question:
'And how can men call upon him in whom they do not believe?
And how can they believe in him of whom they have never heard?
And how can they hear without a preacher?
And how can men preach unless they are sent?'
So faith comes from what is heard,
and what is heard comes by preaching Christ.
Let us take it apart and show you what Paul is trying to get at."

He explains that what Paul was trying to get at was that people cannot call upon the true God if they do not believe in Him, and they do not believe in Him if they have never heard of Him, and for the most part they haven't. Someone has to be sent to preach Him to them.

Neville's point though is that churches and synagogues have preached wrong gods to their people--gods who are external and distant from man, gods of social involvement and societal change. Few congregants have ever heard of the true God, the God who is internal in man, who is one with us--our own, wonderful, human imagination.

I count it quite wonderful that without ever having heard the name Miltha, Neville deduced the fact of manifestation of God which is the Miltha. Neville deduced the Miltha, spoken of in John 1:1 in the ancient Aramaic, from the teachings of his mentor Abdullah and from the Scriptures themselves. Miltha is a feminine name for God with masculine pronouns. He is the divine provider of God's love, abundance, grace and protection--Eil Shaddai, the all powerful, all providing breasts of God.

I first learned of the Miltha from Victor N. Alexander's translation of John from the ancient Aramaic:

"In the Beginning [of creation] (i.e., before the Creation)
there was the Miltha, the Manifestation of God;
and that Miltha (the Manifestation of God) was with God;
and God was [the embodiment of] that Manifestation, the Miltha.
This (Miltha/Manifestation) was in the beginning with God.
Everything was within his power* ([in his] hand),
and without his hand not one [thing that] became would have become.
Through him [there] was Life,* (lit. Lives),
and Life became the spark* of humanity.
And that [ensuing] fire* lights the darkness,
and darkness does not overshadow it."
(John 1:1-5 Alexander, footnotes incorporated, my editing and emphases)

Thus was John's understanding of the Being Who had become the Jesus he had known: He was the Manifestation of the unmanifest infinite, eternal, and almighty Lord God, YHWH. And thus John begins his gospel, "This is the story of the Manifestation." In the story, it is the Manifestation Who speaks as Jesus, for He has become Jesus' imagination; i.e., the two have become one. The Miltha is the Aleph and the Tau, the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End. The Miltha encompasses infinity and eternity and all universes, from before them and after them. He is not just the plan for the universe and time, he is the universe and time. And He has become us. For us to become him.

And where can we find the Miltha? He lives in us as our own, wonderful, human imagination. Not separate and independent of God, but as the Manifestation of the true God waiting to be discovered in us through humility, submission, honor, and rightness.

Here is my take on the Miltha mechanism: the unmanifest infinite and eternal consciousness of the Ineffable (...?) worked out what It would be if It were manifest, AND IT ASSUMED THAT IT WAS. Thus there IS the assumed Manifestation of the unmanifest Ineffable (...?). This was in the beginning WITH God, and WAS God. But the natures and characteristics of God within the Manifestation must be generated and developed to match the natures and characteristics generated and developed in God over His eternal past. Those natures and characteristics exist in the assumed Manifestation already, but they have not been actualized through experiential generation and development in what we call reality. They remain simply ideas.

(Edit 10/01/2025: Neville Goddard's lecture "Unless I Go Away" is gold. It says in gist, "Unless I go away, you will never discover who YOU are as I found who I am.")

The Aramaic Miltha is translated as Logos in Greek. In English, we translate Logos as "a thing said, word, meaning, idea, logic, rational, expression, etc." YOU CANNOT CALL UPON THE TRUE GOD IF YOU ONLY KNOW HIM AS LOGOS, BECAUSE YOU HAVE NEVER HEARD OF THE TRUE GOD. The Miltha is different than a Logos. The Greek word Logos is only as close as the Greek can get to the meaning of Miltha, because they had never heard of the Miltha. How could they call upon a God of Whom they had never heard? (Which indicates to me that John did not originally write his gospel in Greek, for then he would have had to explain the Miltha to them. The translator from John's Aramaic to Greek did not see this.)

The basic difference I see between Miltha and Logos is, well, manifestation. Miltha expresses an idea, and includes the act of that idea's completion. That is why the Miltha in Jesus is both the Beginning AND the End. Say you desired to sit, and imagined a chair in which to do so. With Logos you have the idea of a chair, the reason for a chair, the logic of a chair, the plans of a chair, perhaps even the effort it might take to make a chair. But do you ever actually get to sitting in a physical chair? With Miltha, you have the essential connotation of a chair in which to sit, all the way to your butt sitting comfortably in the chair's seat. It is all inclusive. The assumed Miltha said, "Let there be light." And there was (Heb. hayah, became) light, its actualization. Let there be, was. THAT is the program we are in.

The assumed-to-exist Manifestation of God, the Miltha John begins with, was and is tasked with becoming itself ACTUALIZED. The nature and characteristic of Christ Crucified AS us has always existed in the Miltha, and in John's experience this nature and characteristic became ACTUALIZED in the life, death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus Christ. A real guy did it. John saw the risen Savior. The act had become complete, ACTUALIZED, and now becomes complete in us as our own, wonderful, human imaginations are imbued/enlivened with the Holy Ghost from the innermost outward. This is why the test of faith is knowing that Christ is within, coming out, and not absent coming in.

The transition from assumed to actualized Manifestation is the evolution of God--the Beginning and the End of ourselves. Assume and do well.

Neville Goddard, Without Ever Knowing The Name, Discovered The Milta (Miltha) In The Scriptures

This may be a bit hard to read.

The assumed Miltha is the real and whole Thing of the Ineffable No-thing, which is everything--He Who is, was, and ever will be. He just isn't all together yet. Because He is becoming the actualized Miltha.

I do not remember the exact day, but I remember the exact moment it happened to me. In a meditation I was down in the workshop in my mind, staring out the door I had just created, watching Jesus approach me. What Jesus had taught his disciples, spiritual talents the Church had since lost, he was personally going to teach me. In my mind I gazed at the light emanating from him. Suddenly, I could see through that light and saw the inside of the spirit. It was all darkness within.

Of course I closed the door and left that meditation. What shook me was not that I had been being deceived, but that the spirit who had been deceiving me was real. I for the first time really perceived reality. The demon was real, my mind was real, and the one who had opened my eyes to see reality was real. And if we were real in this way, then the spiritual world of the Bible was real, and I was in a heap of trouble. I was concerned, but I also felt that a hand--a real one--was being reached out to me.

Over the last five decades I have pondered this mechanism. What is it that is going on, and why? "God has no other hands but ours, no other mouth but ours, no other feet than ours," say the evangelists. We go, work, speak for Him. Neville Goddard has said it well: "God became man, that man might become God." Or maybe that was William Blake. Same same. My point is that the great Ineffable Most High God has no corporal body except the Miltha, which is becoming real. The Big Guy cannot do anything but think. But from Neville Goddard I have learned that the Big Guy can think very well. He can think, and has thought, that He is fully and completely manifested as an existent thing--the Miltha, an assumed real thing. And His thoughts, His intelligence has the power to become--physically and literally--actualized as whatever it assumes that it is. I.e., he has the power to become actualized: the dream come true.

We are somehow halfway there, assuming our lives in a manifesting world. The world is mental: our assumption/God's assumption becomes actualized. And the assuming we're doing is not very good. The not-very-good lies are becoming forceful as the deceiver of the whole world (Revelation 12:12 KJV) bids us to do his will disbelieving God's words. Till the Miltha brings consummation to His compiled actualization.

This, unfortunately, is a very real project. Pursue all yours being found in Him.

Bible Correction: Genesis 2 and 3 as they relate to John 3:14

After I realized that Victor N. Alexander's translation of the ancient Aramaic (i.e., the original) version of Genesis had only one tree talked about--the tree of life, which was also the tree of the knowledge of good and evil--I asked Victor about it. His response was, "It has to be one tree."

It appears that eating of the tree of life gives one the knowledge of good and evil, which, if the person is not prepared, brings death.

I associate the thrust of the story in Genesis 2 and 3 with how Alexander translates John 3:14 and 15: "And just as Moses lifted the darkness by the light of life, this is how you should glorify* (lift up) the Son of Man. So that every human [being] who believes in him does not [go to] oblivion, except that they may have life everlasting* (to [the end of] the universe)." Moses lifted the darkness/death upon men by preaching the rightness of the Miltha by teaching the Law of God. In like manner we are to lift the darkness by preaching the rightness of the Miltha by teaching the Law of Christ. He is God's grace, our Savior, the Manifestation of the Ineffable--the tree of life.

Bible Correction: Genesis 2:9 -- Delete "And The Tree Of The Knowledge Of Good And Evil"

"And the tree of the knowledge of good and evil" is not in Genesis 2:9. In the ancient Aramaic version of Genesis 2:9 it only says that the tree of life was in the midst of Paradise. It doesn't say anything about the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. I asked Victor Alexander about this. Victor is a translator of the ancient Aramaic version of Genesis into English. He said, "Yes, it has to be one tree."

In Genesis 2:17 the Lord God refers to the tree of life as the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, because the knowledge of good and evil is what you get when you eat of the tree of life. What did you get when you heard about Christ? In Genesis 3:22 the Lord God says, "Behold, Adam wanted to be like one of us, to know the good and the evil; now, that is why he extended his hand and took from the tree of life and ate, so he could live forever (lit. to the end of the universe)."

The glorious archangel who became the serpent referred to in Genesis 3:1 discussed with the wife the tree in the midst of Paradise, the tree of life. "God said," she said, "that you shall not eat from it and you shall not go near it, so you will not die." The glorious archangel (who was in the act of becoming the serpent) said, "You will not die the death (i.e., really die), because God knows that in the age* that you eat from it, your eyes will be opened and you will become like Gods, knowing the good and the evil." And the wife saw that the tree was beautiful to eat, and it was pleasing to the eye, and the tree was pleasing to look at, and she took from its branches and ate, and she gave also to her husband with her and he also ate. And both of them, their eyes opened up and they discovered that they were naked.

Okay, the man and wife disbelieved God's words that they would die if they ate from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, i.e., the tree of life, and they disobeyed God and ate of the fruit of the tree of life to live forever by having the knowledge of good and evil. And they found out that it doesn't work that way. They were not ready for it. They were prideful in doubting His words, selfish, independent and lacking humility. They thought they could produce the likeness and rightness of the Lord God, the Miltha, Christ the gift of God, on their own, and found that it wasn't in them, that they were naked.

Not a good way to start or maintain a relationship. Approaching Christ's righteousness is beautiful and pleasing, but the Law demands justice: any variance from the Miltha, the Manifestation of the Lord God, requires correction, rejection and reconstitution. It is out with the bad and in with the good, and you had better be able to make the transition. And of ourselves, we can't.

Does it sound like Moses was preaching the Gospel? He famously put the most important things up front where you can't miss them. Adam and Eve are us, and her Son is our Savior, the Son of Man--the Tree of Life Who died for us.