Don’t Go Unless You Want To Leave: Self-Sabotage Can Be A Good Thing Unless It Isn’t What You Want

In my last post on obsessed focus, Tom’s daughter imagined having appendicitis, a state she did not want to go to but inadvertently caused. Neville warned us to watch what we imagine lest we cause what we do not want. For example, a person may imagine having a much better position of employment, but the fruit of that imagining may be with another company. He or she is thinking happy thoughts, and gets fired. That is good; they are on their way. I had a friend who went through exactly that, and couldn’t have been happier.

But recently I have been reflecting on things that might have been, a better life than I have if I had used the opportunities I had in my youth. The problem is, imagining that life THIS life has gone down the tube. Why? To get there I have to leave here. I have been self-sabotaging myself. The past is still possible, and it would only take faith to have what I’ve dreamed. But what I really want is to make THIS life as that life would have been. So I have to stop thinking of what might have been and concentrate on THIS life being the fulfillment of those “lost” opportunities. We really need to discern exactly what it is that we really want. I want to go, but I don’t want to leave, so what I was imagining was not really what I want. I want the feelings of that state in this situation. Is anything too hard for YHWH? I don’t think so. So I obsess focusing on this situation in that state.