What Direction Was God's Reference In The Baptism In The Holy Ghost?

It was a simple enough statement: "Remember this, and it is all right." But to what did "this" refer--the prior stated attitude, or the forthcoming reality?

Big problem. I had asked Jesus for the gift of tongues. This was in 1975. He wouldn't touch me with a ten-foot pole (that's about three meters). Rejected, I was crushed; I sobbed. I sought why he rejected me. It came down to my self-lordship--I still maintained final control over my life; I was not truly surrendered and submitting to him. I cast self-control completely out of myself. He caught me. Fully surrendered, I said, "You are Glorious God; I am a mudman. Whatever you tell me to do, I will do." Then I shut up and listened. He spoke: "Remember this, and it is all right." He forgave me. I was accepted! The ecstasy was palpable. I filled with the Holy Ghost and spoke in a tongue.

But to what did God refer when he said, "Remember this, and it is all right"? Was it to my attitude of submission in what I had just said, "You are Glorious God; I am a mudman. Whatever you tell me to do, I will do"? Or did God speak in faith of the forthcoming imbuement with the Holy Ghost--as though it had already happened? "Remember this--what's about to smack you upside along the head, and it is all right."

Believe it or not, this comes from Rabbi Daniel Lapin's teaching on television. He said that Abel's Hebrew name was Hebel--"zero." It is the same word Solomon uses in Ecclesiastes for vanity. It means vain, nothing, absurdity, transitory--zero. A google search gave me as translation: breath, delusion, emptily, emptiness, fleeting, fraud, futile, futility, idols, mere breath, nothing, useless, vain, vainly, vanity, vanity of vanities, vapor, worthless. Not a nice thing to name your kid. But this is something in us. Something killed by Cain--acquisition. Is it submission--the making of yourself zero before God? Recognition of the--all the things mentioned above--of our lives?

On my knees before God, I entered hebel. Mudman was what I was, formed of imagination and given life that was not mine--nothing. I zeroed my self, and He filled me; everything was all right. This is where I need to be: "They then went out and preached every place, and YHWH helped them and began filling them with signs that they performed" (Mark 16:20 my take on Alexander). First zero, then out and preaching . . . and He does the signs. "Remember this, and it is all right."