Meditation Discipline, Purpose and Focus

Knowing that meditation is controlled thought and requires discipline does not mean that I have that discipline. I am trying to develop it. My successes in meditating have been unintentional; I just happened to enter the natural state being focused and mentally absorbed in my then-present situation. Being one-on-one with God - "on His ground" - tends to catch your attention. I had not gone into meditation with any intent or expectation along the lines of what wound up happening.

I often watch and listen to YouTube videos while waiting to go to bed. I am not very disciplined yet. People exercise discipline and focus their lives for many different purposes. Many want to attract success, wealth and prosperity; i.e., to impress the heck out of people with all they've got and their fabulous, comfortable, enviable lifestyles. Some want to attain to mystical states, and some want to find, to know, and to please God.

The question comes to mind about the first and third of these. Neville often noted that God has no problem with big desires (He does, after all, want Himself). You want another million dollars? A big house? Fame? There is no increase God is against, no hunger He will not satisfy, except accepting aid one does not need. You fain poverty at your own risk. But God apparently has no problem with disciplining yourself and focusing on success, wealth, and prosperity as long as your mind is toward God. He gave the world to Nebuchadnezzar, who was not a particularly nice guy, yet to God he was the "Golden King." God had the Golden King eat grass with the cattle in seven years of insanity for NOT honoring God for all he had.

The YouTube teachers of the Law of Attraction constantly tell me I am not rich because of my own mental blockages. That I am sabotaging my receiving of money because of my negative atttudes towards money. Believe me, I am not against the having or receiving or spending of money. I am just in the third party. About money I just don't care much. When Jesus went into the wilderness after being baptized by John and the Holy Spirit, True, he hungered, but he believed it worked. AND IT WORKED. God sent angels to minister to him. The success Jesus disciplined himself to and focused on was the finding, the knowing, and the pleasing of God. No, I am not in his class, BUT I KNOW THE CLASS EXISTS. If I can discipline myself to get there, that's where I want to be. In my lack of focus, I am the kid in the fire. Lord, I believe. Bolster my faith.