This is God’s Life

I discovered in the baptism in the Holy Spirit that God speaks to us in illustrations. Kneeling and facing a folding chair, I asked for the gift of tongues. Saved at the House of Praise, I had been surrounded by people speaking in tongues. I hadn't, so I was asking. Nada. Zip. Zilch. I gave God everything of myself I could think of, and He wouldn't touch me with a ten-foot pole. I was rejected, and became desperate to become acceptable. But what more could I give?

At this point I entered a trance, I guess, as my mind was focused on my plight to the exclusion of everything else. In my mind's eye I saw a dirt path I was following in a wash, a type of riverbed. As I followed to the left with tall brush on either side, a concrete wall appeared to the right. It grew higher as I walked along. I was raised near such a wash in Avocado Heights. It had been open, but I think it was enclosed with concrete walls when the Pomona Freeway was built. I knew the open wash well; it had been something of a playground for us.

I ran into a block, an impasse: a huge cement-like cube covering a passage. It was taller than I could jump. I didn't know what it was, but figured it was whatever made me unacceptable to God. I couldn't move it, climb over it, get around it, or even tell what it was. No name! In desperate sobs I gave it, whatever it was, to God. It was, of course, an illustration-- my point here -- and the explanation God gave me of what I had just given was also an illustration. On a level below the cube I saw a man-shaped scoop of mud taken from the earth. The mud became bone, organs, flesh, and finally given life from God, a living man. A dumb-as-mud man. A genuine tabla rasa.

I wondered what this new man could possibly think: a moment ago it was mud. In my mind's eye I followed the man as he sought shelter, safety, warmth, and food. He had concerns he was urgent to take care of. And never a thought of God, of thanks for the life he had been given, of what he had been made FOR, crossed his mind.

OH. IT'S ME.

I felt like I had been hit upside the head with a two by four. I had spent my entire life up to this point concerned for whatever were my needs without ever a thought of God, of thanks for this life I had been given, or of what He had given it to me FOR, even though I had been a "Christian." I had robbed God of whatever His purpose for this life had been. I was a thief, a rebel. "Rebellion as witchcraft" came to mind. No wonder God wouldn't touch me with a ten-foot pole -- I had given myself to Him as His peer. There had been no real surrender or submission in my giving. If I didn't like what He did with me, I was going to take myself back! My respect for Him had been with reservations.

The error of my way became urgently clear. THIS IS HIS LIFE. I had no right of lordship. By His grace He had given me HIS life. I cast self-control out of myself, half expecting to fall down in an uncontrolled blob. Thankfully, I didn't fall. I saw a huge, felled pine in front of me. We were on a clearing high on a mountain. I was familiar with such places because I was an avid backpacker. God was speaking to me visually, and I hope you can hear what I saw. My head was bowed at the felled tree, but I could discern above me the Glory of God spreading across the sky like alpenglow on clouds. I said in my head to the Source of that Glory, "You are Glorious God; I am a mud man. Whatever your purpose for me is, that I will do."

I waited. I wasn't moving. I'd quit. And after awhile, I heard a small, still voice: "Remember this, and it is all right." I was expecting directions. Instead I received acceptance.

This was the first time God had spoken in words. My life in review had all been in images, illustrations. But the point had been made crystal clear: the life in me was and is HIS life. We are one. I SEEM to be living it, but it is in all reality Him. "Hear O Israel, being one with God is what makes you 'Israel'!" FOR GOD IS THE DOER OF THE VERB!!

Neale Donald Walsch notes that when we are born, we are perfect, for we are the Ineffable. Our only task is to grasp that. The universe always says, "Yes," for we are the Ineffable. We are never alone, for the Ineffable is everything, experiencing all things.

Honor God. Respect Him. Be noble, honorable, honest, generous, faithful, kind, loving. The Mosaic law was to show God how much we respect Him. Love is the same, the way by which one can show respect to God Whose life we are living! I think this is what Napoleon Hill was talking about when in Law of Success he said to determine what you will do or pay for what you want. Determine how you will show respect and honor to God, the Divine Intelligence, the Imagination of the Ineffable BY WHOM WE LIVE.