Reason To Doubt? DON'T GO THE WRONG WAY! Deconverts, Go Get The Evidence

(Edit 06/09/2025: I wrote this for deconverts from Christianity. I have seen numerous videos of people who profess to have been devout, serious, long-term and active Christians who have given up on the faith. Regardless of other reasons, almost to a person a common theme is that there is no evidence of a real Jesus. Hey, I was there. I gave up on Christianity and got into Eastern religions and philosophies, meditation and the occult. And there I encountered the real Jesus acting to get me back. Since then it has been a life WITH Jesus. Be sensitive to evidence, be open to it, listen. Life is Him talking to us. Expect His response to your prayers. Let your eyes be open to see Hum, to see Him moving things for you. You are called; make certain you are chosen.)

In 1975 I was pursuing spiritual development in a guided meditation at the local metaphysical bookstore, when I suddenly and clearly encountered a deceiving spirit. There it was. Yes, I was imagining, yet it was real. I was at the time a backslidden Christian curious about the occult. Apparently this spirit had been working on me for along time. It did not take long for me to deduce that if this deceiving spirit was real, and the spirit who had opened my mental eyes to see it was real, then my "spiritual development" was going the wrong way.

I got back into church and went forward to accept Jesus as my Lord and Savior. Nothing happened to me, but the fellow next to me broke down crying and rose speaking in tongues. Almost everyone at the fellowship I joined spoke in tongues, like it was the natural thing. Before long I was led to ask Jesus for the gift of tongues. I did, and nothing happened. I gave Jesus more and more of myself--my lips, my breath, my future, any kids I might have in the future, etc. Nothing happened.

It struck me that while I had accepted Jesus, He had not accepted me. And now He rejected me; wouldn't touch me with a ten-foot pole. There was something about me that made me odious to Him, something that I had NOT given to Him, and I had no idea what it was! I didn't give up. I grappled mentally for what it might be. Crying, sobbing, I implored Jesus to show me what it was that made me unacceptable to Him. For I could not give what I could not define, and as yet I didn't have a clue. I became entranced, and was led on a mental trip wherein He taught me and revealed what it was.

I have told the story many times in this blog. When I had given myself to God, I hadn't really. I considered my life to be mine, as if I were God's peer. If I didn't like what He did with me, I was going to take myself back. Boy, was I going the wrong way! I realized that this is HIS life, that He OWNS me, and I was still living in rebellion. I had retained control of myself; I directed my life to my own ends, for my own purposes; I was my own lord and savior. I was guilty of self-lordship against God--rebellion as witchcraft. And in desperation, I cast my self-control out of myself.

Casting self-control out of myself, I thought I might fall as a blob onto the floor. But I didn't. I was somehow caught. This suspension encouraged me, and I completely surrendered to God, submitted myself to Him, and shut up. Mentally I listened for His instructions, for what God would have me do. I heard softly said, "Remember this, and it is all right." I was accepted!! My gratitude was emotionally overwhelming; I was filled with the Holy Ghost and spoke praise and adoration in another language.

In these days many in the church are disappointed and disillusioned. Not finding evidence of a spiritual reality, let alone a historical Christ, they turn away from church and Christianity. My heart goes out to them, and I want to scream, "Don't go the wrong way! Learn the lesson of Omukhulu." Segue. T. L. Osborn was inspired to lead evangelistic healing campaigns by seeing and hearing William Marrion Branham in 1947. Branham had a gift of healing and of casting out demonic spirits. Osborn, having seen the risen Jesus Christ, said to himself, "I can do that," and did. Marrion Branham, though, had a little problem: he laid hands on people to heal them, and believed they were healed, but not yet SEEING evidence of the healing, many people doubted, and Branham's healing ministry fell into disrepute. THE PRAYED FOR PEOPLE WENT THE WRONG WAY. It was time to go onward in faith. God's word said they were healed, but not seeing it, they thought, "Well, I guess it didn't work." Omukhulu, on the other hand, said, "I am a believer; I am saved; I have prayed long enough; It is time for me to act as though God has answered me." Hear the difference: in Omukhulu's mud hut were the sounds of struggle, of grunts and groans of effort, of arms pushing and pulling and slapping surfaces for traction, the sounds of constant shuffling in the effort to get up . . . for he was healed. He believed it. And THEN the shouts of joy, of laughter and thanks and praise, for he was made whole. For he had "stood" on God's word.

I saw a demon, and that was enough evidence to convince me that there is a God to be deceived away from. Do not go the way of the deception. Go towards the Word; fight to get the evidence you need. Believe it. For it gets better and better and better the deeper you get into it. There is a real Guy there--Eashoa, the Life-giver.